It was never meant to be this way.
Out fate was supposed to not be interconnected or entangled in any time and space. We should’ve stayed apart in our own world, living with no awareness about each other.
It might be a whimsical way on how we were bound by unknown fate that God might had been playing on. Was it not for Their amusement only, that we were, and still suffering?
I met you on the warm day of summer. We were just sitting, thinking, contemplating, and cursing towards this miserable world, as Sakura leaves descent to meet it’s own fate. Your face clearly had shown regret to the extend there were no other emotion I could read. You hated this world.
I, too, hated this world.
I tried to ask, whether you needed help, or just want to be comforted. I was half a meter apart from you, after all.
Little did I know, that was the beginning of our twisted fate. Slowly, I have grown feelings toward every sign of existence you offered to this world. You, soon, became my new world. Something that I never looked up to. It was during that time, I finally had something I look up to.
I didn’t realize that it was the point of no return.
I did everything to make sure the world that confined in your being would always be in my reach, for you had become the very reason I continued surviving.
Now that it all boiled down to this way, I just need to secure my happiness.
Our happiness.
Ah, I forgot.
You’re dead.
Forgive me.
I was too late.
I let my world out from my palm as I wanted you to see me as your world too.
But that is okay, right?
I hope you understand.
You said that I was crazy. But we are both crazy.
You followed your so-called significant other because you felt fulfilled. Was I that flawed that you never looked at me anymore?
Ah, I remember.
I’m the one who was in the death’s door.
But I’m happy.
After seeing how she reached out for you, how her tears flowed like a river stream, and how she cursed me until her throat collapsed, I knew that I lost.
I lost to myself, who never take any action to support our relationship together, who never think about your feeling.
As the world that I always looked up to live in still exist inside me, I wanted to secure it, forever.
Live on, my dear.
